I was born in sadness, which was just the beginning of a solemn and desolate life. I’m no stranger to pain—none of us are. The night I held my best friend’s hand as she died, I understood true agony. And I never thought I’d feel happiness again.
But that was so long ago…
Moving to Colorado to be with Colin, my high school sweetheart, was the perfect way to start over and rekindle what had begun to fizzle. I wanted that spark to ignite, to burn in passion and desire. Instead, I found myself falling for Jude, my boyfriend’s roommate. He’s the only person who understands my soul, who can breach the walls I’ve built. But I can’t have him.
Because I’m Trista Kohl, and my destiny is sorrow.
4 thought provoking stars.
I really don’t know where to start with this review, it’s been a while since a book has left me so deep in thought.
We meet Trista and it’s clear she’s all kind of messed up, the book starts fairly sad and sets the tone for Trista’s inner voice for the majority of the book. I felt a massive amount of sadness for Trista but also a mix of frustration too. Part of me was like, this poor girl I totally get it, how can you feel loved when the only person to show you that is no longer there ‘we were Ellie and Trista I didn’t know how to not be a conjunction’. How do you feel alive when you were only ever the other girl? The fact she stayed in a loveless relationship for 6 years drove me mad, and I just wanted to shake her, life is there to be lived all I could hear was Me before you’s Will Traynor screaming at her to ‘just live’ (yes my brain sometimes immortalises book characters in my head as real people and their words actually become words I live by). I felt sad for her, not just for the lack of love her mother had given her, or the love she lost with Ellie or even the love that ceased to exist with Colin but mainly for the love she was missing out on by staying in a relationship which was giving her nothing and the love she really needed to give herself from within.
This is where the pace was a little slow for me, it was almost too much of just putting up with Colin, the feeling that she wasn’t helping herself lost me a little but then on reflection I’m happily married to my childhood sweetheart how the hell do I know how I’d feel if I had nobody to turn to? I couldn’t decide with whether I felt sorry for Colin at the way Trista was distant with him or whether I disliked him for letting her slip away but the further into the book I got the more I made up my mind. As for Jude, the first words that come to mind are beautiful, thoughtful and inspiring. I loved that he put Trista first he could have told her so many different things but he realised the importance of her finding herself and like he said he didn’t want her by default.
The trekking and the trip to Yellowstone was so vivid, I really felt like I was there with them, I loved that Jude was teaching Trista and that she jumped wholeheartedly into learning something new. This is when Trista came into her own for me, we saw the spark in her and she began to embrace life again, this was the Trista I loved, I suddenly connected with the girl that had been pushed aside her whole life and felt incredibly proud of her for never giving up hope.
The most impressive part of the book for me is the poetry. Barbetti has an amazing way with words, one line has the ability to make me think a thousand thoughts and the poetry was beautiful yet sad and just totally perfect.
This book ends on a cliffhanger and bizarrely whilst the story doesn’t end here and there’s much more to come I did get a feeling of completion. The way in which it ends filled my heart with a strange sense of happiness and I honestly think with the way the final 5% went there was no other way for this story to go, Trista got massive girl points for me with the way she dealt with the things thrown at her and I can’t wait to read more from her.